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Building New Relationships

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    After you’ve defined the different types of relationships in your life, you can then evaluate which kinds of relationships you would like to grow in your life.  Having this awareness allows us to develop new areas to meet our needs.  After doing a thorough analysis of your own needs and relationships, you can identify ways to obtain the different needs and levels of relationships in your life.

    To build any relationship, you’ll need to first identify what needs you are looking to meet and which relationships you are looking to build.  Once you have identified what you are seeking, you’ll then need to create a list of all of the current locations in your life that facilitate engagement with other individuals.  These locations can be places such as school, work, online, clubs, etc.  


To build level 1 relationship

  1. Review locations that provide the need you are looking to satisfy. 

  2. Identify current connections and possible connections at these locations.

  3. If plausible, begin facilitating communication honoring the needs of connections identified.

  4. If you cannot find any connections in your current list of locations that would be able to provide your needs, research new locations to expand the network.

To build level 2 relationships

  1. Review locations that provide at least one of the attributes in the type of relationship you would like to build.

  2. Identify any potential level 1 relationships and analyze likelihood of meeting the other attribute required in the specific kind of relationship you want.

  • Platonic/familial=Emotional+Physical

  • Erotic=Emotional+Sexual

  • Apathetic=Physical+Sexual

  1. If plausible, begin facilitating communication with the Level 1 relationship to assess the feasibility of them progressing to the desired Level 2 relationship that you are seeking.


Humans for the most part equate sexuality with emotions to some extent.   Thus, people don’t typically try to build “Apathetic” relationships except for in Arranged Marriages.  Apathetic relationships typically occur because of a failed Level 3 commitment.  Some people commit to this type of relationship in hopes of achieving Level 3 satisfaction, but this is not a guarantee.  

To build a level 3 relationship

  1. Analyze all current level 1 and 2 relationships for their ability to meet level 3 attributes.

  2. Identify relationships that have potential for level 3.  If no relationships currently appeal to be a level 3 relationship, continue building level 1 and 2 relationships. 

  3. Once you have found a potential level 3 relationship, facilitate communication to analyze feasibility of furthering the relationship to level 3.  In order to advance to a level 3 relationship, both parties must honor/meet the needs of all attributes of the partner involved.

    The key to building relationships is communication.  Being able to identify areas of opportunity for growth increases likely connections.  Those connections mean nothing without communication.  In order for there to be a relationship, one must be satisfying the need of another.  You can only understand what someone’s need is if you communicate with them.  Once you’ve initiated communication and trust is built, there is now the opportunity for the relationship to progress to further levels.  Not everyone is meant to be  in a relationship with you and that’s okay.  There are things one can do to expand, but it’s crucial to stay true to your spirit.  All we can do is try our hardest to live with pure intention.
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